Fifty Shades of Compromise

Where do you draw the line? I have been shocked by the number of people, facebook friends and family members alike, that have referenced or admitted to reading the Fifty Shades of Grey books. I really was pretty unaware of this series until just recently. Where have I been?? Now, I am seeing it pop up everywhere! 

This isn't so much a book review, as it is a personal rant on how and why books like this even get so popular! Scroll down to the bottom for some links to actual reviews. In case you didn't know, 50 Shades of Grey has been on the New York Times Best Sellers list for the past 16 weeks and has sold an estimated 20 million copies worldwide.

The world is corrupt, it's messed up. Duh. There was some really twisted stuff going on way back in ancient Rome too, which reminds me that sin is nothing new. For some reason, America has prospered and enjoyed God's hand of protection for many years. I'm not here to claim that the end is near or preach a dooms day message, but our country is changing. There are agendas being pushed that have drastically altered our way of life and the overall opinion of many Americans. This book series is just a piece in the sexual agenda that has only intensified over the years, now to the point of blatantly disturbing. 

There have been plenty of sexually charged movies and books released over the years that have helped pave the way. Singers like Rhianna can now release songs like S&M (and in case you don't get the song, you can watch the video!), which are met with chart topping success rather than disgust and horror. Because Magic Mike will, no doubt, be viewed by countless housewives, teen girls and grandmothers across the country this month, I believe we're well on our way to becoming completely comfortable and accepting of this sort of explicitally sexual entertainment directed at women. 

On the other hand, maybe there is something more we can learn from this! Is there something else going on in the hearts and minds of women across the country that books like 50 Shades of Grey are getting at? I just read an interesting take on this in a blog post written by Melissa Kircher, a frequent writer for Relevant Magazine and Simply Youth Ministry:

There has got to be something going on below the surface, because everything that women say they want, like equality in the workplace, home, finances, etc, is not in this book at all! Western society is doing it's d***dest to erase any kind of gender roles. Yet, here we are with a misogynistic, degrading novel and women can't put it down...

I do think that "Fifty Shades of Grey" hits a nerve in women. That perhaps there is some part of us that is disappointed and frankly exhausted from having to be a million and one different things. We would love to let go and have a man completely be in control, take care of everything and love us with the all-encompassing passionate love...

Does it sound ridiculous to conclude, that the lack of real men, the blurring of gender roles, the fight for women's equality and desire to do it all, has created this emptiness and driving need for something else in the lives of women across the country? A desire for the leadership of a man, maybe (that most woman would never actually admit to because it would contradict everything women have been fighting for all this time)? Could it be possible? Well, I'm not going to go there right now. Maybe another time. But think about it! :)

Shannon Ethridge, author of Every Woman's Battle, refers to this sexually charged shift in our culture as the Sexual Revolution of the Past 40+ Years. She defines this by saying, 

The Sexual Revolution actually isn’t about sex at all. It’s about broken people using other people, desperately trying to medicate their own emotional pain through sexual acts. It’s about loneliness… isolation… rejection… insecurities… co-dependency… selfishness.

Shannon is working on a book entitled The Fantasy Fallacy: A Christians Response to 50 Shades of Grey set to be released in 2013. Check out www.shannonethridge.com for all the great resources Shannon has put out on women's purity and guarding your heart. 

As girls, our minds are powerful things. Guys are visually drawn to pornography, while we are swept away on emotional fantasies and longings of our heart. Soap Operas and romance novels have long been a woman's emotional disconnect into this fantasy world. Personally, I have to be selective and practice moderation even when it comes to "christian" romance novels. Anytime I find myself lost in a book that glamorizes the leading man or makes me long for the perfectly scripted love life of the main character, I am reminded how quickly I can grow discontent with my own life and relationship in the real world. These books, however, take your average romance novel a step further by making their primary purpose; to stimulate sexual desire. 

Read Fifty Ways Porn Might be Sneaking into Your Church for a great list of biblical reasons not to read Fifty Shades of Grey. Dannah Gresh opens with this number one reason for not reading:

Let’s start with the facts. Fifty Shades of Grey is classified as erotic fiction. According to one online dictionary, this genre of literature is defined as that which has “no literary or artistic value other than to stimulate sexual desire.” I’ve been studying what God says about sexuality for fifteen years. According to Him, there is only one who should stimulate sexual desire in me: my husband. Since that’s God’s plan for my sexual desire, anything other than my husband creating arousal in me would be missing the mark of God’s intention. (Translation: it is sin.)

Jesus said it this way: “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” The same is true of a woman looking at or reading about a man.

Fifty Shades of Grey...Lady Porn and the Fall of Culture is another good blog post I recently read about Fifty Shades of Grey. Read here, an interesting conversation the author overhears while hovering over the book table at Costco:

One conversation in particular rattled me. A younger woman was holding the book [Fifty Shades] and pondering the purchase. She had an inquisitive and slightly guilty look on her face. An older women standing nearby happened to see the same inquisitive and guilty look and decided to engage the younger lady in conversation. . . . a conversation that pushed the latter to a tipping point. "Thinking about reading it?", the older woman asked. "Yes, but I hear it's a little dirty," the younger woman replied. At that point, the young woman's husband appeared behind her with their cart. Noticing her husband was now privy to the conversation, the young woman turned a little red and muttered something about her husband showing up. . . as if the conversation needed to come to an end. She looked like a guilty kid who had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. The older woman. . . probably in her mid-60s by my estimation. . . looked at her, gave her a little wink, and said, "It's ten dollars well spent." With that, the young woman placed the book in her cart. . . . and I watched her exchange a sly little smile with her husband. That was an interesting mentoring moment that says a lot about who we are and what we're becoming as a culture.

This is a loaded topic. As I have been scanning the internet for reviews and reading what other bloggers have to say, there is no denying that everyone wants to know the same thing: why, oh, why are these books so popular with women??!! For real, why the obsession, ladies? I have a feeling this question could be analyzed and debated till no end. What do you think and where do you draw the line?