Jeggings Are Pants (and Other Common Misconceptions)

Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control -1Tim 2:9

This is a post that has been on my mind for a while, but I have dreaded writing. Does anyone really want to read another post about modesty?

There are so many people and institutions out there that have sought to make this a black and white issue. Christian universities and private schools have tried for years to come up with a set of guidelines and rules for their students to follow in regards to dress code and modesty. While it is noble for an institution to try instilling a sense of modesty and train students to dress for success, they inevitably find themselves adjusting this list of rules on a yearly basis as they attempt to learn what works and what does not. This is a controversial topic, with a lot of gray areas and varying opinions on how to define it. It's a daily argument between parents and teens, and wherever the line is drawn, there will always be someone to push it.

So why am I writing this? 

Frankly, I am just plain fed up with Christian girls pushing the line!

Please remember: Jeggings and leggings are basically just tights.

Cover stuff up! Wear a long shirt to cover your butt. 

Rules without reason can quickly sound legalistic. How can I convey my heart on this matter without coming across too authoritative? God's Word is the ultimate authority, and there is a lot of direction in there for finding a balance between Christian liberties (freedom) and love for brothers and sisters in Christ that may take offence with certain things we do. Do you have a loving and humble heart that is sensitive to the weaknesses of others? Or is your motivation to do what you want, because it is your right and you find nothing wrong with it? Are you angered at the thought of someone telling you what to do, or are you willing to lay aside your right to something (even if it is perfectly acceptable) because you know it will promote peace and unity?

“Everything is permissible”—but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible”—but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others. 
-1 Cor. 10:23-24

Leggings are not pants! Wear a long, tunic style

shirt that covers everything! 

Are we trying so hard to look like the world, that we have failed to set ourselves apart? It is evident from scripture, that God wants us to strive for a life of purity. As Christians, we're called to be in the world but not of it, set apart, different. We're far from perfect, but we should seek to give God our best in all we do. What it comes down to is, we are not our own. Our bodies are dwelling places for the Holy Spirit, we were bought at a price, do we dress in such a way that reflects this? Are we setting a good example and representing Christ well? Are we sincerely in love with Christ and grateful for what He has done for us, so much that it is an honor rather than a burden to follow Him in every area of life?

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. -1 Cor. 10:19-20

Too low

Girls, are we conscious and considerate of how we dress and how it can make life incredibly difficult for our brothers in Christ to keep their thoughts pure? Well, see the paragraph above, if you don't care about others and think guys should be totally on their own with this one. No, you are not ultimately responsible for his actions, but you can show love by looking out for him and proactively guarding his heart through what you choose to wear. You just might be showing a huge consideration to his wife or girlfriend as well!

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. -Philippians 2:3-4

Girls, we really have NO IDEA what it's like to be a guy. Getting married opened my eyes to a lot of things and has given me a lot of insight into the mind of my husband, but I will never know the feeling of being so visually driven. Girls are easily caught up in emotional fantasies and are attracted to guys who appeal to us on a mental and emotional level (even us girls that aren't all that emotional). The way men are wired is not bad, just different from us! We need to be consciously aware of this on a daily basis.

When it comes to modesty, where do you see yourself on this scale?:

Cute, but this would be a nightmare to me because I'd 

constantly be pulling and tugging at it all day! 

Too wide on the top and low/loose fitting. May remedy this 

with a cami underneath or double sided sticky tape. 

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God — even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved. - 1 Cor. 10:31-33

An important point to note, is that modesty is very subjective. There are a lot of factors that go into determining what is considered modest. A huge role in this is culture. In some countries and religions, it is greatly offensive for a women to even show her ankles. Many conservative Christian organizations today, still believe women should only wear long dresses and skirts. At some point, we have to step back and determine what biblical modesty looks like. I love C. J. Mahaney's take on biblical modesty in his book: Worldliness: Resisting the Seduction of a Fallen World Mahaney reflects on 1Tim. 2:9 which begins by addressing the men of the early church and then the women. Mahaney writes that Paul,

"...is concerned because some of them are imitating the dress and adornment of the ladies of the Roman court and the prostitutes. Those women were known for their expensive clothes and jewelry and elaborate hairstyles; they dressed, not only to attract attention, but to seduce as well. When the women of the church arrived dressed like this, it’s no surprise that they distracted others from worshiping God. What’s more, through their ostentatious dress they associated themselves with the wealthy (thus separating themselves from the poor) and the ungodly (thus distancing themselves from their fellow church members). Their dress was distracting, and maybe even divisive.
That’s why Paul urges them to dress in “respectable apparel” and “not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire.” He wants the Savior, not seductive style, to be the focus of the church gathering—and indeed, the focus of all of life. So the real issue wasn’t actually braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly attire. The issue was—and is—clothing that associates with worldly and not godly values: clothes that say “look at me” and “I’m with the world.” Let me be clear: Paul is not categorically prohibiting a woman from enhancing her appearance—on Sunday or any day of the week. In fact, you’ll find other places in Scripture where godly women wore fine clothing and jewelry."

Continue reading from Mahaney's chapter on modesty here: The Appearance of the Modest Woman

On the opposite end of the spectrum are Christians that feel it is sexually oppressive to impose the idea of modesty on women. Yes, I believe an over-emphases on the wrong things and a wrong motivation can be oppressive. However, I'm not talking here about a denial of all things feminine, beautiful (sexy even), a call to cover yourself from head to toe at all times, or to carry the sole responsibility of a man's purity based on how you are dressed. I'm not saying to turn the switch off and shove all feelings of sexuality so far down that you a hard time turning it back on at the appropriate time. On the contrary, I love fashion! Just as I love beauty and creativity in many areas of life, I love buying clothes, changing my hair style, painting my nails, accessorizing and looking good.

What it comes down to is a place in the heart that desires moderation. What Paul was addressing in the early church was the issue of women dressing to draw attention to themselves rather than to God. They were using over the top adornments, accessories and daring outfits that were a distraction to everyone around them because they were conducive to the way flamboyant Roman citizens and prostitutes dressed. Even secular TV stars and self proclaimed fashion police will tell you there are some outfits that are just over-the-top or totally inappropriate for certain events. If we've learned anything from What NOT to Wear, it's how tacky an ill fitting or tight pair of pants can look and how out of place a plunging neckline would be at a funeral. Use discretion!

1920's beach scene: "modesty police" measured to make

sure a bathing suits were no more than 6" above the knee 

I read an article recently that spoke out against the burdensome demands of modesty in the Christian church, based on the argument that it can be oppressive to a women's sexuality. My thoughts on this argument, are that this may have been the case 100's of years ago, but definitely not in America today. Women in America were oppressed at one point, some may argue still today in certain areas and churches. However, not anywhere near what they were before the original women's rights movement took place, or the burning of bras in the 60's and the marketing of women's sexuality that has taken place through Madonna, Katy Perry and Lady Gaga. No one can argue with the fact that we live in an age where modesty is not the norm. The minimal amount of clothing that is required to reach social acceptability has shrunk to surprising lows. This cultural standard has seeped into the church and affected godly people. I'm talking to a very small crowd out there that actually has a problem dressing too modestly and is at risk of feeling sexually oppressed.

I in no way want to claim a position of final authority on the definition of modesty. I don't claim to make the rules (in fact, there are no actual "rules"), but I will share some tips. In an attempt to help my sisters out, here is my take on modesty and a summary of the kinds of things I try to take into consideration every single time I pick out an outfit:

Too short
Too low

• Bend forward and stand up straight: Does it show cleavage in front or too much booty in back? Are my underwear visible? = A YES to any of these means an instant NO GO for me. Add a higher necked tank top to cover cleavage, layer a cardigan that goes down past your butt to cover underwear lines or wear a longer shirt/tank underneath. If a skirt is too short, wear leggings underneath. Use a slip if the skirt is too see-through. 
• Bend from side to side: Does it too easily move around and expose skin? If so, wear a longer tank top underneath. 
• Sit in front of a mirror to check the length on a skirt. How much do I see? Remember to always sit in a "ladylike" manner when wearing skirts of any length (no crossing legs, only ankles). Again, wear leggings under a skirt that seems a little short, or just don't wear it. 
• How short is too short? I generally want my shorts to come below my fingertips, skirts and dresses to fall no shorter than mid thigh - longer for church or when I am going to be standing in front of people/elevated above anyone or moving around a lot. 
• If I were standing up on a stage or stairs and someone was lower than me, how much would be visible? If someone was looking down at me from a higher point, how much could they see? 
• Is my bra or bra strap visible? If so, secure with pins, wear a tank top, etc. 
• How tight is too tight for my particular body type?: My weight has fluctuated a lot of the years. Curvy girls, I hear ya. The magazines say flaunt your stuff, be proud of your curves! Hey, I'm all for confidence in who you are, and loving the body God has given you, but there is no excuse for showing off an enormous amount of cleavage or wearing pants that look like they've been spray painted onto your body. 
• What area is this shirt or pants attracting attention to? Is it way too bootylishous or boobalishous? When in doubt, add a layer that covers things a little more.

Way too low

• I'm a huge fan of being comfortable and safe. If I put something on that I know I will constantly be tugging at, pulling down, pulling up, buttoning up, pulling together, sucking in... I'll usually just opt not to wear it. 
• When in doubt, wear a long tank top or a higher necked cami underneath, pin things in place, ad some stitches or layer a flowy cardigan over a tight shirt. 
• Bathing Suits: I only wear one pieces, tankinies or swim dresses (more so because I am self conscious of my thighs!) that cover my whole mid section. My biggest hang-up is the coverage on top. Yes, it is a pain finding a modest baiting suit! Check out Lands End for some good options. Use a cute cover-up when not in the water for extra confidence. 
• Strapless tops, spaghetti straps and halters. Yes, I do own these and I know where it is appropriate to wear them. Let me tell you, it's usually not at church or the work place. For everyday activities, it comes down to the fit, look, style and coverage of each of these. Some strapless tops are super trashy looking, while others do a good really job of covering things and hanging loose. I use discretion!

A very common style for a prom dress these days.

Really?!? Mom and Dad, really?? 

Ask a friend! Let your husband or friends know it is ok to be honest with you. No one wants to be in that position, and very rarely will someone have the nerve to address you to your face when you're pushing the line. Your husband may not have even looked at you before heading out the door, and he may be afraid for his life to speak up even if he did notice something! Self image is such a sensitive thing, and your friends just want to build you up, so they may need a little prodding to give you the cold hard truth. 

Now, where do you think the attention 

is being drawn to with shorts like these? 

Parents, when did you just give up? As a youth leader, and the wife of a youth pastor, I have a lot of contact with teens and a lot of interaction with parents. Many times my husband and I have looked at each other and asked, what were her parents thinking letting her out of the house like that?! We can only do so much, the majority of it comes down to where you draw the line as a parent.

A young contestant on 

the show Toddlers & Tiaras 

Start young: Pace yourself, don't let your daughter dress like a teenager when she is 10, or she will be pushing the line even further when she is 16. This may entail saying no, for now, when your 6 year old asks to wear high heeled shoes. There is no rule saying high heals on a 6 year old are un-biblical or that God would not be pleased, in fact they are probably pretty cute! But I can say, with full confidence, what pleases God is a heart that seeks to parent using wisdom and discernment. Wisdom helps discern the amount of interest your daughter may be taking in physical appearance vs. how much time you have invesd in her inner beauty. Girls are feeling the pressure to act and look a certain way at a younger and younger age (remember the controversial push-up bathing suit abercrombie was marketing to 12 year olds?). 10 year olds are now considered "tweens" because that's about the age they start feeling pressure to dress exactly like their teenage role model. Sadly, their role models include older sisters that dress provocatively, and a hand full of Disney stars that have traded their squeaky clean image for the bad-girl persona. 

If you have teenagers: stay strong and hold your ground. Protect your daughters innocence - because it's worth it. But don't just lay down a bunch of rules, explain WHY this is such an important issue. Dads, don't be afraid to talk candidly about what you know of the male population. Go beyond the "I'm a guy and I know how guys think" or "guys only have one thing on their minds." We live in such a sex-saturated society, your teenage daughter is not going to be as taken aback by what you have to say, as you may think. Share your heart with her and make sure she knows you love her.

Miley and her 9 year old sister 

Many girls just really need to make sense of it all 
because bottom line, we don't get it.

My Current BIGGEST OFFENDERS: 

Pushing the line. I might wear

this at home, but never in public!

As soon as you start moving

or bending in this shirt, it is

going to show serious cleavage.

• Leggings and Jeggings Leggings ARE NOT PANTS! They are basically a step up from tights. Yes, the degree of thickness does correlate with the length of shirt you can get away with, but in general, you should NEVER wear a shirt shorter than what covers your entire bottom and lady parts. Most of the time, I shoot for mid thigh when wearing a nice thick legging. Around the house, I may get away with a t-shirt that hits just bellow my butt line, but rarely is there reason to do this in public. PLEASE NOTE: I am only 5' 2" sorry to say, taller ladies cannot get away with the shorter shirt thing. Jeggings are a small step up from leggings in thickness, so for me, the rules still apply! There is also something to be said about your environment. Wearing jeggings with a shorter shirt to the grocery store is one thing, but church or the office would be really out of place.
• Cleavage It bothers me so, so much when Christian girls sport cleavage on a regular basis. Can I be honest with you? I don't care if you're a 34A or a 38FF, if your shirt is low enough to see any amount of a crease, it is too low. I've been there. At my heaviest weight, there were days a regular t-shirt that came up to my neck would have still shown a healthy dose of cleavage. I am acknowledging that the bigger you are, the harder you must try and the more creative you must be. But really girls, the biggest problem I see is that you're just not even trying. Yes, life happens, clothing shifts, wardrobes malfunction. But, if you put a shirt on and can already foresee a lot of tugging and "pulling up" going on during the day, just don't do it! Or, use double sided tape, pins, etc. to secure things in place. 

Yes, you have to be extra creative at times, when striving to dress modestly. Most of the time, you wont be able to just take a cute outfit off the rack and wear it as-is. I alter a lot of my clothing, by doing a simple stitch job in the shoulders to pull the neckline a little higher. You may have to layer a lot of outfits with tank tops, cardigans or shrugs. You will probably have to say no to a lot of things that could be really cute. In general, the companies and designers that are creating clothing for the masses are not concerned with modesty. You have to be on the defence. But, it is possible to dress attractively in trendy clothes from popular stores, by being a little creative in how you wear things!

Lord, give me the wisdom and discernment necessary to make choices that will honor You! ~Sarah

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