atwp: Olivia's Birth Story

My darling Olivia is turning 3 today! She is my youngest, my last biological child, and the child that taught me the most about the power of prayer. Because of spots that had shown up on an early ultrasound, there was a lot of speculation leading up to Olivia's birth as to what kind of medical conditions she may be born with. A LOT of people were praying, all over the United States and the world. They were praying for a perfect baby, and I often joke today that she turned out a little too perfect! (HAHA) I was going back through some pictures today and came across the facebook note I had written, 3 months after her birth. Since I didn't have this blog at that point, I figured today was as good as any to share the story here!

February 25, 2011

As Olivia is coming close to being 3 months old now, I keep finding myself looking back on everything that God brought us through surrounding her birth. I feel like I've heard too many stories lately of families dealing with the loss of an infant, or of complications their baby suffered at birth. These stories hit so close to home now and just grip my heart with sorrow. I hurt for them and can only imagine the pain they must be feeling. The thoughts that keeps going through my mind are of how fragile life is, yet how powerful and in control God is. I praise Him every day for giving us Olivia and blessing us with a healthy baby. Yet the things we went through to get to this point were traumatic enough to make me feel fragile. The plans that I had made over a span of 9 months, were quickly thrown out and I have been left humbled and silenced, in awe of God. Saying that "God was our strength" during that time, means so much more than just emotional strength. He literally was our strength, by working through people and providing the support system that we needed to get through! I wanted to journal the details of Olivia's birth, before I forget them all! Please don't feel obligated to read this :)

This pregnancy was the hardest I had experienced, totally different than my previous two. I was completely sick through the first trimester and a little ways into the second. I struggled immensely with caring for my other 2 children when I was either completely wiped out on the couch or cowering in the bathroom. At my 20 week apt. we found out we were having another little girl! We were so excited. Having previously decided this would most likely be our last, having another girl felt like it made things "complete" for us. At this apt. we also were first made aware of a potential concern with Olivia. A spot showed up on the ultrasound that was a potential marker for downs syndrome, cystic fibrosis, or any number of fatal infections. We were sent to high risk specialists, and had numerous tests done, only to decide we would never really be at ease or know the true condition of our baby until she was born. In the mean time, word started spreading and God called on prayer warriors all across the United States and the world! I have seen God work this way in other people's lives, but never have I felt the personal affects of it hit so close to home. We were and still are amazed at the power of prayer and number of people we've learned had been praying for us.

The plans had been made, the house was spotless, the freezer was stocked, the grandparents were ready. My first delivery had been an emergency c-section. Not pleasant. My second had been scheduled. Smoothest and most enjoyable experience ever. I assumed this scheduled delivery would be the same. Boy was I wrong. My water broke the night before, yet I had no idea that's what had happened. The morning we went in for the c-section, I was starting to have really intense contractions. I jokingly said "wow, I'm glad we're scheduled to have a baby this morning."

The next wrench in the plan was that my blood work came back showing an unusual antibody. They started the search for blood that would match to have on hand in an emergency. I settled back and tried to relax as the contractions grew more intense. What they thought may take a couple hours grew closer to 8 hours later. They finally found the blood, even though they assured me they had already had their quota of blood transfusions for the year and the odds of me needing it were very slim. At that point, I'm pretty sure I was in full blown labor, never having had an epidural or any kind of pain meds. No one was really in a rush or taking my pain seriously, because they all knew I was there for a scheduled c-section. Because I was on the books as being a scheduled c-section, my surgery kept being bumped later and later by others having emergency c-sections.

So, almost 15 hours after my water had broke and about 9 hours later than my scheduled time, I finally went into the OR. The surgery did not go as planed. The amount of scar tissue they found slowed things down quite a bit. Sparing everyone the details, there was considerable blood loss, numerous other complications, the cord was wrapped around Olivia's neck 3 times (confirming that a normal delivery would have been very dangerous!), and my Dr. was concerned that I would have to go back within hours to have a complete hysterectomy. On the positive side, there were no signs of concern for Olivia's health! She was developmentally perfect. Praise God!

Though completely warn out and in considerable pain, I returned to my room to be with Olivia. My parents were able to come and see Olivia for the first time, however we didn't want any other visitors or family members due to the severity of my situation. Within hours, Olivia was taken from our room and checked into the ICU for pneumonia (the Dr's reasoned this could have been due to her delivery taking place so long after my water had broke). There she stayed for almost the remainder of our time in the hospital. Although they did, with hesitation, rule out the need for a hysterectomy, my condition had not improved much by the time they discharged us.

My pain was very intense on the way home. After being home for only a few hours, my fever spiked. My OB "just happened" to be on call that night and she urged us to return to the ER. I was admitted once again. As they wheeled me back into the hospital to a new room, on the same floor as I had been only a few hours ago, my emotions took control. The nurses we passed were happy, smiling and calling out holiday greetings as they decorated the hall for Christmas. I did NOT want to be there. I wanted to be at home with my children. My two oldest, whom I already felt neglectful of, and my new Olivia, who I had only been with for a few hours since her birth, several days before. I couldn't believe this was happening.

Jay had ran home to get the things we would need for another hospital stay, and at that moment I felt completely alone. The nurse on staff tried to comfort me and told me stories of how she had the "baby blues as well" after giving birth. I wanted to cry out and say "I have so many more reasons to be emotional right now!" But I tried to keep my composure and simply shared the names of my kids with tears in my eyes. I ended up needing a blood transfusion after all. The blood loss from the surgery had left me very weak, and infection had set in.

Again, so many friends and family members came together to help support us. I was very grateful that all 3 of my children were being safely cared for by my family. People from church made meals for my family, my friend Julia came down from Saginaw to keep us company and my brother Daniel did runs to and from the hospital to take milk back for Olivia (now that's love!). A week later I was able to finally join my family at home. I was reunited with Olivia, all I wanted to do was sit and hold her for hours and cry. Now, 3 months later, we have a beautiful, happy and healthy baby girl who we have fallen in love with. Her big sister Natalie and big brother Taylor adore her. She is the "perfect" baby. She rarely cries, is so laid back and at ease, sleeps through the night, smiles and coos :) Thank you, Jesus for our precious baby girl!